The Thermodynamics of Hell
A quite profound question that has puzzled the researchers at The Mill (YSA's research laboratories) for some time has now been solved. The Mill's collaborators at the University of Washington are credited with the actual thermodynamic arguments.
Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
It turns out that this was an question given on a University of Washington chemistry exam. Something is exothermic if it gives off heat and endothermic if it absorbs heat. Students were challenged to support their answer with proof.
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Charles' Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed). One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell in relation to combining Charles' and Boyle's Laws. For the temperature and the pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
- If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until All Hell breaks loose.
- Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then (2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.
This student got the only A.
The Researchers at The Mill are interested in hearing about your unpublished research or new and interesting theories. If you have something in which you think our team would be interested, send it to us by email or snail mail to your YSA Chapter. Prizes will be awarded to good contributions as judged by the senior researchers.
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Last Modified: Monday, 08-Sep-2003 10:24:09 EST
