How to Catch a Lion in the Saharah Desert
1) The Method of Inversive Geometry:
We place a spherical cage in the desert and enter it. We then perform an inverse operation with respect to the cage. The lion is then inside the cage and we are outside.
2) The Set Theoretic Method:
We observe that the desert is a separable space. It therefore contains an enumerable dense set of points from which can be extracted a sequence having the lion as the limit. We then approach the lion stealthily along this sequence bearing with us suitable equipment.
3) Topological Method:
We observe that the lion has at least the connectivity of the torus. We transport the desert into four-space. It is then possible to carry out such a deformation that the lion can be returned to 3-space in a knotted condition. He is then helpless.
4) The Dirac Method:
We observe that wild lions are ipso facto not observable in the Sahara desert. Consequently, if there are any lions in Sahara, then they are tame. The capture of a tame lion is left as an exercise for the reader.
5) The Thermodynamic Method:
We construct a semi-permeable membrane which is permeable to everything except lions and sweep it across the desert.
6) The Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment there is a positive probability that there is a lion in the cage. Sit down and wait.
7) Heisenberg Method:
You will disturb the Lion when you observe it before capturing. So keep your eyes closed.
8) Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. The relative velocity makes the lion run faster and hence it feels heavier and gets tired.
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Last Modified: Monday, 08-Sep-2003 10:24:09 EST
